The other night on Chelsea’s show I was outed for wearing Granny panties. You know what, everyone? Fuck you. I wear granny panties and I’m proud of it. So what if nobody is ever going to marry me. It was not a joke for the show, I really do wear them all the time when I’m not trying to woo a mister. Here’s a couple other times I was busted. 

This was in San Deigo I think on the Chelsea tour. And below  is at the airport in Ohio. Three things you will never find me in at the airport: a thong, high heels, a state of happiness. 

Don’t think I’m totally throwing in the towel. I don’t always wear granny panties. Sometimes I wear boxers. I think what we’ve learned from this post is that no matter how big my underwear is, they can’t possibly be bigger than my teeth.